


memento mori

by HiddenEye



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Fluff, I thought this was rather fitting lmao, M/M, Please Forgive me, post season one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-22
Updated: 2016-08-22
Packaged: 2018-08-10 09:11:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7838971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HiddenEye/pseuds/HiddenEye
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You need this more than I do. So, stop worrying about me."</p><p>"I'm always worried about you, Keith," Shiro tells him softly, mentally tracing the angle of his nose and the curve of his cheeks. "It's just something I do when it comes to you."</p><p>Keith tilts his head to the side. "You know you don't have to anymore."</p><p>-</p><p>  <em>remember (that you have) to die</em></p>
            </blockquote>





	memento mori

"It won't work."

Shiro doesn't startle when Keith stands beside him, his arm ghosting near his that Shiro pushes down the urge to shudder. "You don't know that."

"Of course I do, or I won't be able to tell you in the first place." Keith replies easily. Shiro tears his gaze from the purple horizon to face the younger man beside him; and where every dying light rests onto Keith's form with a purple glow that illuminates beautifully around him. "It's suicidal, and you know this as much as I do."

A soft sigh escapes through his lips before Shiro has a chance to hold it in, and that catches Keith's attention when he looks up with a flash of amusement. "What choice do we have, Keith?" Shiro tugs onto his bleached hair. "We can't stay here forever, or even wait for them to look for us."

"You're injured," Keith points out calmly, jutting his chin towards Shiro's leg, where he has been leaning heavily on his right side to avoid putting pressure on the broken one. "I've seen how it looks, and I know it would just get infected if you leave it like that. You need medical attention."

Shiro purses his lips, doesn't shifts in place when his feels the dull throb crawling down his leg, ignoring it as well as the stinging jab that shoots up to his thigh when he does move. "It doesn't matter, we have to think of a way to get out of here, _all_ of us."

Glancing to the side, his eye catches the red lion slumped against the slick bark of a huge tree. Its large boat-like leaves hangs lowly from its branch that their tips almost touches the ground, a good hiding spot for them to keep a close eye on the lion while it is unable to move, too banged up with damage after the fight with Zarkon and the hectic escape from the portal.

The black lion dutily stands beside Red, and from where Shiro is perched on top of the cliff, he could still feel the rolls of emotion the black lion gives out, hitting him with every bitter frustration and anger that Shiro would have emptied whatever he has in his stomach by its ferocity.

He tries to tamper it down and not mingle it with his own scattered thoughts, dulling it out for the moment as he focuses onto the way Keith lets out a huff of laughter.

"You're not yourself when you're like this," he comments with a sweep of his bangs, those strands of dark hair sticks against his forehead despite the breeze that blows onto them. "You're starting to become like me," there's a quirk of a smile when Shiro chuckles. "And we don't need that right now if we're going to keep our heads. Anyway, you're the one who told me that patience yeilds focus."

"Spitting my words back at me, huh?" Shiro tries to hide the wince when he shifts in his place, but Keith sees it nonetheless and gives him a wane look. "It's unbecoming."

"You know what else is unbecoming? You wanting to dive headfirst into space without looking at your needs first while we search for the rest of our team through other galaxies," Keith drawls, causing Shiro to cough out another laugh that both of them ignore how sharp it sounds. "It's stupid, don't do it."

"We'll waste more time the longer we stay on this planet," Shiro warns him, meeting those sapphire eyes when they search for his, where they reflect against the light. "And we can't afford to do that."

Keith holds his stare, none of them thinking of backing down.

Until, Keith slowly raises his hand towards Shiro's face that he doesn't look away when it stops just above his cheek, the palm of those lithe hands almost touching his skin that he is able to feel the way it hovers, almost like the wind itself.

But Keith changes his mind and pulls his hand back, never breaking his gaze on Shiro. "Taking care of yourself isn't a waste of time, Shiro," he murmurs. "And _you_ were never a waste of time. Remember that."

Shiro looks away and stares into the forest of huge green and yellow trees that stretches a long way in front of him, up until he's only able to see those little tress at the edge before it disappears to the other side all together, the sun bleeding magenta and spilling it all around them.

"I'll put people's safety first," he says, voice weighing tiredly as his finger starts to have a mind of its own when it taps against his thigh. "And then, I'll look after myself."

"That's very admirable, _sir_ , but we're doing this now," Keith begins to turn around and trudges down the hill, looking back when Shiro doesn't follow him. "Come on, fearless leader. We have to have a look at your busted leg."

Shiro stares into the endless trees for a little longer, until he faces away and drags his foot with him while he uses the stick he has with him as a cane, gritting his teeth when he feels the throb of pain growing steadily. Keith is already waiting a few feet away to give him a hand, but Shiro waves it away as he begins tracking towards his lion.

 

* * *

 

"Do you need help?"

Shiro looks up from where he's been smearing the gel he found in the emergency kit, its sticky blue structure is cold on his left palm that he remembers Coran saying that its healing properties are quite remarkable enough for it to righten back whatever it is they break. He's made himself comfortable enough on the bunk for him to stretch his injured leg in front of him, where he props it with a pillow while he leans slightly on the wall.

Keith hasn't changed from his suit, dismissing the soot that clings on to it as he perches onto the arm of the chair, folding his arms across his chest.

"It's alright, I've got it." Shiro grunts out when he reaches for his ankle, feeling the way his muscles stretch on his back. "You haven't changed your suit, though."

Keith shrugs. "It keeps me grounded for some reason. If I take it off, I feel like I'll loose my sense of purpose," he lets out a breathless chuckle. "It's stupid really, but it's all I can think of when I didn't feel like taking it off."

Shiro stares at his own pieces of suit beside him; where the white parts of the suit darken with scratches and dust, his helmet is rolled to the corner of the bunk, where he knows that the communication device in it is still working despite him being separated from his crew.

He imagine that Keith's comms is still on as well.

Dragging his attention back to the man who's still looking at him expectantly, Shiro just gives him a reassuring smile. "I'm fine, Keith. But you should get a look on yourself, see if there's anything that needs to have a look at."

The look Keith gives him is an odd mixture of sorrow and hilarity, but Shiro is already working back on his leg to avoid it all together. Keith lets out a gust of breath, and from the corner of his eye, Shiro is able to see the way Keith hauls himself into an upright position before making his way towards Shiro. "Maybe later," Keith says. The hesitation in his voice isn't hard to miss, as if he's holding something back. "We'll look at your leg first and see what we can do."

Shiro swallows the lump in his throat as he nods mutely, feeling the way the thin mattress barely dips under Keith's weight as he settles at the edge, right beside Shiro's hip.

"Hey."

Looking up, Shiro's chest clenches when he meets those dark eyes, kind and soft as Keith offers him a small smile that curls slightly at the corner of his mouth. Reaching out, he almost brushes away those white strands from Shiro's forehead. "I'll be fine," Keith assures him, hand dropping between them. "You need this more than I do. So, stop worrying about me."

"I'm always worried about you, Keith," Shiro tells him softly, mentally tracing the angle of his nose and the curve of his cheeks. "It's just something I do when it comes to you."

Keith tilts his head to the side. "You know you don't have to anymore."

Shiro pushes his tongue against his clenched teeth, looking away.

 

* * *

 

"It's bad, isn't It?"

Shiro peers out from where he's under the dashboard, seeing the way Keith bends his knees as he looks back at Shiro with a hopeful look, he hands clasped on his thighs to gain some stability. He's still wearing his suit, still dirty with dust and smeared soil.

Shiro grunts out an affirmative. "Well, if Pidge and Hunk were here, they'll probably manage to fix Red in a day or two. But given the fact that we're the only two paladins visible," He doesn't bother to finish his sentence when he merely gives a tiny shrug from where he's lodged in the cramp space.

Keith groans, hanging his head. "It's probably going to take us days to get her working, or even weeks. And we don't have time for that."

Shiro laughs, trying to at least get Red to set up the particle barrier around itself to so that nothing would be able to get in and steal the lion away.

After crashing on to the unknown planet, Shiro is surprised to find out that the planet is devoid of any Galra influence that he had expected when he first saw it. Perhaps the air is unbreathable for Galra when he's able to walk freely without feeling the need to suffocate, albeit gravity feels a little heavier than it is when he's at earth.

"Don't worry, we're somewhat decent mechanics, we'll get Red running and then we're out of here."

Keith snorts, settling down to sit on the floor near Shiro's feet. "Ever the optimist," he rolls his eyes when Shiro flashes him a grin. "Yeah, sure, but having Pidge or Hunk here at the moment would be pretty useful than both of us combined."

Shiro curses under his breath when his hands are zapped with an electric shock the moment he begins picking through the tangle of wires inside the dashboard, jerking his hand away to inspect for any burns. "I second that," Shiro grumbles, glaring at the opened compartment in front of him as he clenched and unclenched his fingers to get rid of the sting. "Have you tried finding the others?"

"I did," Keith replies, tugging onto the strands of his hair in frustration. "I tried with Red, but even with her condition, I don't think I'll be able to find them in this condition."

Shiro pauses, looking down to meet Keith's look. "What do you mean?"

"I mean we're literally in the middle of no where," Keith answers. "You've checked the map with me, you saw how far we were from the Galran 'pit stop'."

Shiro pushes back the panic to the back of his head the moment it begins to rear it head again, and he clamps a hand on top of the dashboard he drags himself out from under there, grunting when he feels the throb in his leg escalating steadily but firmly. He still waves away the hand Keith offers as he stands up with Shiro. "We'll keep looking then," he says with finality in his tone, hauling himself up that he sits on Keith's chair with a huff. "We'll keep looking, and we don't give up."

Keith looks like he's struggling to not sigh in front of Shiro again, but only settles with a reluctant nod that Shiro thinks is good enough. "I can't afford to give up," he continues in a quieter tone. "After everything that happened to us, giving up is never going to be an option for me."

Silence stretches between them for a while, and Keith tentatively sits down on the floor again before leaning his head against the arm rest. If Shiro moves his hand a bit to the right, he's able to bury his fingers into his hair.

But, he resist.

"Don't you want to eat?" Keith asks in the same tone Shiro uses just now, as if he's afraid to break this tender air that rests onto their shoulders for the time being. "We've been doing this for hours, you need your energy."

"I'm not hungry," Shiro mutters, looking out through the windows that he's able to see the four moons that align in the blue sky.

It hurts to think how similar it is to earth. With this planet's cloudless skies and rich green plants, ripe and juicy fruits along with those little streams that trails in between the deep forest, he would have thought this would be another planet for the human population to stay on if earth would die under their feet. Though, they would feel heavier as gravity on the unknown planet pulls onto their weight more, but it'll be adequate enough, and they'll survive.

He realises that he has only spent merely a few hours on earth after a year out in endless space of stars and nebulas, where he had been a prized possesion as the Galra's very own Gladiator. A Champion to many creatures that would have probably forgotten him the moment he escaped from the ship.

A few hours on earth, in the shack he found when he's been out exploring during his days as a cadet, and where Keith has been staying for that whole year Shiro had been missing.

And then, he's been catapulted into space again.

He suppose he isn't entirely alone this time, he muses as he flickers his eyes towards the mop of hair beside him.

"At least have a granola bar, Shiro," Keith says wearily. "Or whatever it is that's in the food compartment."

Shiro hums thoughtfully, but he doesn't move from his spot as he watches the way his fingers reaches out for Keith's hair, just barely touching him. "Hunk said something about trying to remake earth food, or improvise the Altean's food to make it taste like ours. They're in the pantry."

Keith looks up with an eyebrow raised. "I didn't know this cat-shaped war machine has a pantry."

Shiro shrugs, a smile forming. "It's more of that food compartment, actually." Keith scoffs lightly when he realises they're actually talking about the same thing. "Nothing fancy."

"Good enough," Keith leans against the arm rest again. "You want me to take it for you?"

Shiro shakes his head. "Later."

There's another pregnant pause, where he's able to hear the faint buzz that usually happens when he stays in a too quiet room, where he doesn't even hear himself breathe it scares him just a bit, as if he's truly alone.

"How long do you think time passed on earth?" He breaks the quietness between them, feeling his skin crawling with a restlessness he tries not to think about.

"I don't know, months? Years?" Keith laughs tiredly. "At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if fifty years had already passed, or even a hundred."

Shiro lets out a shuddering breath. "Hopefully not."

"It's a possibility," Keith points out. "It's probably happening right now."

Swallowing the bile, Shiro nods. "Yeah, you're right."

He stops. "I'll bring you home, Keith," he whispers, and he meets Keith's curious look when he looks up again. "I promise."

Keith merely laughs softly. "And I'd do the same for you, Shiro."

 

* * *

 

There are flowers everywhere.

Shiro's been exploring to look for any edible fruit he can eat other than the Altean food in his lion, walking a little deeper into the forest as he makes sure he leaves a large trail behind him, cutting his way through the mess with his bionic hand.

And somehow, he finds himself into a field of wild flowers.

He doesn't know their names, but a few of them actually looks similar with the ones on earth.

Filled with awe, he's able to distinguish the purples and pinks that's scattered near his feet, and large looking flowers that varies from soft blue to bright orange blooming beautifully at the edge of the field. There are small ones too, little white bell-shaped flowers with a tinge of red that speckles across the petals, its stem healthy and green.

He stops to one spot where there's a type of flower that almost looks like pink lilies; where his mother would usually have a vase of them perched on the side table, accompanied with little white daisies that would compliment each other perfectly, the sweet smell of those flowers would fill in the whole house.

Wobbling slowly towards them, he stops just where the flowers start to grow and leans heavily against his cane, bending forward with a grunt to pluck out a few.

Keith would appreciate them.

 

* * *

 

Days has passed since the two lions first crashed into that planet, and Shiro had been going back and forth from his lion to Red to check up on things that needed to be looked at.

So far, the particle barrier has finally flickered to life around that morning, and Shiro is able to feel the gratitude and respect Red sends out towards him, causing a warm feeling of hope to spread around his chest that he relishes on it; good and familiar at the same time that he howls with laughter at the victory.

Keith laughs along with him, with his eyes that seem to brighten while his grin stretches wide. Shiro is ecstatic for once, fuelled with hope and determination that he works for the rest of the day by checking the rest of the parts.

Making his way towards Red after a brief rest inside his own lion -who's finally standing tall alongside the black lion- Shiro ignores the sharp-edged rocks five feet away from Red; like grey pencils being stabbed upside down that the pointed area is facing towards the sky. Almost as tall as Red itself that they occupy at least three acres. A patch of something dark colours at one side of the rocks, the same part where some of them are broken into half and debris litters the floor with it. But Shiro has better things to do, and he doesn't have time to stare at those strange looking rocks.

Shiro is glad that Red trusts him more now to lower down its jaw for him to be in, not like last time where it takes some coaxing to do before it does. Shiro doesn't walk into the cockpit and instead pauses at Red's jaw, checking for anything that would cause any malfunction later.

He rests heavily against his cane as he spreads his hand onto the sleek surface of its inner jaw, dragging his palm towards the hinge that blinks back at him from where the orange light shines on to it. He traces it with his finger, almost desperately trying to find any other faults that he could have over-looked, anything that he could fix so that he doesn't have any more regrets than he already have later on. But it looks good as new, as if whatever happened before this is all a sham.

No, everything's all real.

"Shiro?"

He snaps his head up at the sound of Keith's voice, where said man is standing at the entrance, staring at him worriedly with a frown between his brows. "You okay there? Need some help?"

Shiro pulls his hand back, curling it to his side to hide the tremors its making. He smiles wryly. "I'm fine, don't worry about it."

Keith stares on doubtfully. "You sure?"

Everything's _too_ real.

How's that even possible?

Shiro nods. "Yeah, I'm sure."

The look on Keith's face doesn't dissipate when he replies. "Okay, but if you need anything, just tell me, alright?"

Shiro forces out another smile. "Alright."

The sound of Keith's boots is real enough that Shiro feels the vibrations they give throughout the place when he walks away, along with the worried expression that seems to etch permanently onto Keith's face whenever Shiro comes wobbling near him. Shiro knows they're all real, he's experienced them first hand.

But then why is there something nagging at the back of his mind when he tries to look for whatever it is on Red?

The world spins for a moment and Shiro leans his forehead against the cool metal, hearing the way his breath shudders when he exhales harshly through his mouth. He uses Red as his anchor for a while, letting himself drop down to this firm ground he's standing on from the vertigo that's making him have the urge to puke his guts out.

He stays like that until it's gone, and then he's rocketing out of there as fast as his crippled foot can let him, completely ignoring everything around him and yet, the sharp rocks still catches his eye.

He feels his stomach drop at the sight and tries to swallow down a ball of emotion.

The black lion drops to its hunches and lowers down it's maw as if it feels his distress, where Shiro quickly goes in and immediately makes his way towards the cockpit.

Once he arrives, he hesitates at the door, feeling the blood rushing in his ears as he pants into the empty space, hearing his own breaths hitting against the walls of the empty cockpit and then echoing back to him.

 _This_ is real.

Everything that happens at the moment is _real._

He rushes towards his chair and sits onto it, frantically letting his cane rest onto the dashboard while he buries his face into his hands, nails digging into his skull as he bites down his lower lip.

Why is he like this?

Why is there so much doubt and pain he can't explain inside him?

"Shiro."

Shiro jumps into a stand, leaning against the board as he meets Keith's eyes at the entrance.

And he's still wearing his unclean suit.

"You're not real," Shiro stammers out before he has the chance to rein in the words. His brain seems to be confused as he is, because Keith is just standing _there_ and yet Shiro's whole body is protesting against the thought. "You're not real, you're not really _here_."

There's mild surprise on Keith's face, as if he already suspected that Shiro would say such things towards him, but he assumes it won't be today.

A sad smile twitches at the corner of Keith's lips.

"But you know that already."

 

* * *

 

Shiro wakes up with a start.

He finds himself sprawled on his chair, cane dropped to the floor.

He blindly reaches for it and stiffly stands up, looking around the cockpit.

He finds himself alone.

His injured leg groans with protest when he lumbers across the small space to make his way out of his lion, hearing the way his cane clicks against the metal surface with every drag of his feet.

He makes a beeline towards the pointy rocks, standing in front of the broken ones.

His eyes lands onto the dark stain, and recognises it for what it is.

Dried blood.

Though the smell has disappeared long ago, it still makes his empty stomach clench uncomfortably, his throat scratchy and dry from the lack of water he hasn't been consuming for the past hours he's been passed out.

And he doesn't even know how long ago that was.

Clutching onto his cane, he hangs his head, biting onto his lip that he's able to taste the copper that spills into his mouth, reminding him just how _fragile_ he is at the moment.

"Shiro."

There's a brush of fingers against his cheek, and he looks up to calm sapphire eyes standing beside him.

Keith leans forward, nuzzling softly into the corner of his jaw that Shiro's eyes flutters close for a moment, because for that small amount of time he's able to feel the warmth of Keith's breath against his own skin; familiar and loving. "Come on," Keith murmurs into the shell of Shiro's ear. "There's something I have to show you."

Blindly, Shiro lets Keith guide him towards his lion again, a hand on Shiro's back, where the black lion hasn't pick up his head from the ground.

Right foot, left foot, right foot; and before he knows it they're already in the cockpit.

And he hears garbled voices screaming from his speakers.

"They need you."

Shiro snaps his head up, opening his mouth to say something but closing it shut with inaudible click. "Keith-"

"I'll be fine," Keith chuckles, and Shiro _wants_ to believe it. "Go on."

Shiro swallows the ball of lump down and staggers towards his seat, slowly lowering himself down that his hands automatically moves on their own record as he switches on the voice audio.

He hesitates, takes a deep breath.

And speaks.

"Guys."

Everything happens at once.

_"Shiro-"_

_"Oh my god-"_

_"Jesus fucking Christ-"_

He lets out a wet laugh, his hands shaking as he digs the heel of his hands into his eyes, his shoulders trembling with absolute _relief_.

" _Shiro_ ," Allura's sharp voice cuts through the babble of the other three paladins, but there's gratitude as well as exhaustion. " _Thank all that is holy you're there, we've been trying to look for you for a_ year _._ " She sighs heavily through her nose. " _We've tracked the black and red lion on the planet you're currently inhabiting on, and we should be there in a couple of minutes, so hang in there. Is Keith with you?_ "

"I'm here," Keith mumbles in Shiro's ear, but they both know she can't hear him. "I'm here."

" _Shiro?_ "

"I-" Shiro chokes out, head pounding angrily. "I-I'm okay. Just-"

"Time to go home," Keith whispers. And then, he's taking Shiro's chin between his fingers, tilting Shiro's head towards his way that said man has no choice but to follow. "Shiro, it's time to go home."

A pounding headache blooms at the back of his eyes that Shiro blinks slowly at Keith. "Keith."

"Yeah," Keith replies softly, brushing a thumb onto the apple of Shiro's cheek. "I'm here."

" _Shiro? Are you alright?_ "

"I'm not going to leave you," Shiro says determinedly when Keith grazes a kiss at the corner of his mouth. "You're coming with me."

Keith hovers his lips over Shiro's, and Shiro is able to feels the puffs of breaths Keith makes when he laughs.

"Of course I will," he smirks, eyes glinting with mirth.

"Just don't forget to tell them where you buried me."

 

* * *

 

_"Shiro, I lost the connection."_

_His hands clutches onto the levers tightly, teeth gritting with force as Shiro feels the way they're being sucked into a planet's atmosphere after being flung by the portal, sirens blaring into his ear while the red lights flashes as a warning. "We'll figure this out later. Right now, we have to stop ourselves from crashing headfirst on to this planet, or we'll only be killing ourselves."_

_"I can't do anything much," Keith grunts out from the comms. "Red's too banged up to even brake properly, I can hardly feel my bond with her."_

_Shiro lets out a sharp breath when he sees the looming ground coming towards their way. "It's not ideal, but I think I'll be able to take us both on the ground slowly and carefully despite your lion being an extra weight," he throws out a suggestion. "The atmosphere is heavy, so get ready for a rough landing when the thrusters start to work."_

_"Excellent," Keith mutters. "Alright, let's do this."_

_"On a count of three," Shiro calls out, tightening his hold onto the handles._

_"One."_

_"Two."_

_"Three!"_

_And Shiro pulls._

_Only to have his grip on Keith teared away from him with a strong jerk, and the red lion plummets faster to the ground._

_"No!" Shiro roars, deactivating his braking systems as he chases after his partner. "Keith!"_

_"Shiro," Keith chokes out in alarm. "Shiro, what-?"_

_"I've got you, buddy," Shiro begins to say, leaning forward as he focuses on to the red lion that's becoming too far away for him to soothe his rattling heart, the ever growing fear breeding like rats as they become nearer towards the ground. "I've got you, I'm almost there."_

_"Shiro-" Keith stammers._

_"I'm almost there, Keith," Shiro grits as he reaches out with a mechanical paw; almost touching, almost holding on. "I'm almost there-"_

_"_ Takashi- _"_

_The line goes dead when the sound of metal against stone can be heard from where Shiro sits._

_The black paladin screams out in anguish as he pulls the brakes the last minute._

 

* * *

 

When Allura walks into the main room, the three paladins are asleep on the sofas, exhausted from all that happened for the past year and the last few days after finding their other two missing friends.

She makes her way towards the one pod that's being used, joining her guardian as Coran stands rigidly in front of it, every fibre in his body tight with tension. "How is he?"

"He's coping," Coran sighs, running a hand over his face. "I don't know how he does it after going through the things he had when he was stuck here -on this planet we're currently on- alone and injured, but he's _coping_ , and I find that admirable enough."

Allura nods, noticing the tired lines that appears on Shiro's face. "His leg is healed?"

"His leg should be alright," he confirms. "He probaby used the medicine that was packed in there, the bones are actually mending back together and he should be able to walk on his own within a couple of weeks or so." He pauses, glancing worriedly at her. "Keith-"

"I know," she croaks out, closing her eyes briefly to fight against the sorrow that weighs heavily in her chest, Shiro's sobs still echoing in her ears when he tells them he buried him, he buried _Keith_ , who died in the crash and that they _have_ to bring him back with them, they _can't leave him_ here alone on this god forsaken planet _please_ Allura _we have to bring him back_. "But you know we can't just dig him out, his body is probably decomposing already."

Silence drapes heavily around them, almost suffacating the air they breathe. She presses a hand on to the transparent glass, right over Shiro's right hand. "Oh, Shiro." She mumbles.

"The others told me they found the red paladin's suit in the red lion," she continues in a slightly louder voice, curling her fingers in. "Shiro must have taken it off before he did it."

It's still painful for her to say for what happened, even after she goes scouting to look for the grave after Shiro points wildly towards the forest, where he has begged for him to come with her, but she has strict orders to get him in the infirmary to check on his health. And then, he's being hauled by Hunk towards the castle when Shiro begins to protest.

What she found is soil being disturbed under a small tree, and resting at the head of the grave are dried up flowers and the red paladin's broken helmet.

She kneels heavily to the ground with her hands to her mouth, tears stinging in her eyes.

When she's at the castle again with the helmet in her hands, Coran has already put Shiro to sleep so that his injuries could be checked on without Coran being disturbed by Shiro's thrashing.

"We lost a friend," she says, clenching her fingers tighter into her palm, crescent shaped nails digging into her skin. "We lost a comrade, and we lost our red paladin."

"And Shiro lost his lover," she looks up in surprise, and Coran lets out a tired laugh that seems to drag him down more, as if the energy required to do it is demanding enough as it is to talk. "Surely you've seen them together before, princess. They don't show it much, of course, being the secretive bunch they are. But they're subtle in a way that if you pay attention to them long enough, you'll be able to see it."

She tilts her head to look at Shiro's face again, awed by the fact. "I never did realise," she murmurs thoughtfully. "I've been so occupied by Voltron and so many other things that I never realise they were together." She winces in guilt. "I should have, it shows how I don't give the paladins much attention than I should be. They're my friends too, not just pilots of our people's greatest weapon."

There's another pause between them, and then Coran faces her fully. "How long are we going to stay here, princess?"

"Not long, I hope," she replies wearily. "But we can't leave until Shiro makes his peace with the fact that we have to get out of here without Keith. If we do that now and without having Keith with us, Shiro would never forgive us, and forming Voltron would be harder when the leader is difficult to convince into something he probably has no heart in doing anymore." A heave of breath escapes through her nose. "It's the only way."

"Does this mean you'll be the red paladin, then?" He asks, posture as straight as ever, but there's grief in his expression as well. "Hunk and Pidge have been fixing the red lion up a bit, and they say they can continue what Shiro left off. The red lion should be up and going in a while."

Allura suddenly feels as if the whole universe is literally hanging onto her shoulders at the moment, pulling her down. "I'll," she starts, and then stops. But then, she squares her shoulders, a flicker of courage crosses past her face. "Yes, I'll be the red paladin. It's the only way we can form Voltron and take down the Galran Empire and Zarkon as well. I'll have to bond with the red lion later."

Coran nods. "Very well, princess. But be careful, the red lion might be cautious when you'll try to bond with her. She almost died with her partner after all, she might still be grieving and angry that the line between Keith and her was cut off too abruptly."

"Of course," she breathes as she stares blankly at the Shiro's process of healing that shows on the glass, where he'll be able to get out of the pod in another day or two. Depends on how persistent he can be. "I'll be gentle, the red lion would be hard to convince, but she'll have to trust me in the end." She swallows thickly. "We don't have a choice."

"Of course," he agrees. "Though, we'll be struggling a bit more, but we can go through this, we can make it happen."

Allura looks over towards the other paladins, where all of them are waking up from their rest as they straightened up in their seats. She meets Lance's eyes, hollow and empty as if the very life of him has been leached out the moment he hears of Keith's death.

Lance tries to give her a smile, but it falls flat between them when it doesn't have his trademark mirth.

She watches them standing up, rumpled around the edges, but still firm and strong as they started walking towards her and Coran. "Yes," she whispers.

"We can."

 

* * *

 

_"What if I don't make it?"_

_Shiro looks up from his cup, blinking away the bleariness that clings onto his eyelids as he focuses his eyesight onto Keith, who's standing at the large windows as he looks out._

_"Space is a big place," Keith continues, pressing a hand on to the transparent glass, his lips pinched into a line. "What if some accident just happens and I'm wiped out of existence?"_

_Shiro frowns, standing up from the large sofa he's been sitting on and starts waking towards him. "Keith?" He calls out tentatively._

_Keith snaps his head towards his way, as if he's only realising he isn't alone in the room. He shakes his head. "It's just a thought, you know?" He mumbles, ruffling his hair in embarrassment._

_Smiling, Shiro leans on to the window while facing Keith, offering the cup towards him that Keith accepts without another word. "Post midnight thoughts, huh?"_

_Keith snorts, raising an eyebrow. "We don't even know if it's even midnight yet. For all we know it could be eight in the morning." He takes a sip of the drink, and immediately scrunches his face. "Ugh, why are you even drinking Nanvil now?"_

_Shiro laughs, taking cup back from him. "Apparently, this happens to be the strongest drink the castle has, might as well, you know?"_

_"You're disgusting," Keith comments when Shiro swallows down the last of the drink, smirking when Shiro grimaces._

_"So," Shiro starts as he makes himself as comfortable as he can against the cold glass. "Post midnight thoughts?"_

_"Maybe," Keith shrugs. "Just wondering, you know?"_

_"Yeah," Shiro murmurs, staring into the empty cup. "I know how it feels."_

_"Hey," there's a hand on Shiro's arm, and he looks up to Keith's serious gaze. "I won't let you die, alright? Besides," He gives a squeeze before letting go, crossing his arms across his chest tightly. "I lost you once for a whole damn year, I'm going to make sure it doesn't happen again."_

_Shiro sucks in a breath. "Keith-"_

_"Look," Keith snaps. "Despite me thinking about it just now, dying is an option for me I'm going to gladly take if it means for you to stay alive for the next of your life. You had a shitty one year by being a prisoner for doing absolutely nothing towards those Galrans. At least, you deserve this."_

_"You make this sound as if it's 'a life for another life' kind of situation," Shiro says warily. "Don't make it that way."_

_Keith shrugs again. "Like I said, if I have an option for that, I'll just take it."_

_"Keith-"_

_"I'm selfish, Shiro," Keith growls, nails digging into his arms. "I don't want to see you taken away from me again, I don't want to feel as wasted as I was the whole time you were gone." He smiles bitterly when Shiro looks at him in surprise. "If you're thinking of dying anytime soon, toss me into a fleet of Galras first and I'll fight them until my dying breath."_

_Shiro stays still for a while, holding onto Keith's penetrating stare as if he's daring Shiro to say a word against it, to protest or to deny his request._

_Shiro sighs, breaking the contact as he looks out to the stars._

_"Fine."_

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah um sorry about that but I hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> In case you're wondering, memento mori means "remember (that you have) to die" in Latin.
> 
> Kudos, bookmarks and comments are highly appreciated! :)


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